26 signs you’re addicted to golf

1. You practice your golf swing anywhere.

2. You find broken tees everywhere. Everywhere.

3. You tan like this…

4. …this…

5. …and sometimes like this.

6. You can’t drive past a golf course without straining to get a look at it.

7. You measure wind speed in clubs and not miles per hour.

8. You know what ‘coefficient of restitution’ is.

9. You keep your golf clubs in your car boot. You know, just in case.

10. You will spend a maximum of five minutes looking for something before declaring it lost.

11. You tip an imaginary cap when you see someone you know.

12. You cut your grass on the lowest height setting to try and turn your lawn into a putting green…

13. … but, somehow, it always ends up looking like this.

14. You mistakenly attempt to pay for something using a ball marker.

15. Your idea of a genius architect is Braid, not Rennie Mackintosh.

16. You clean your clubs more than you clean your car.

17. You get a paper cut and immediately check to see if it affects your grip.

18. You think Will Smith was better as Bagger Vance than the Fresh Prince.

19. You don’t see a beautiful landscape when you go for a walk in the country. Only places to build a golf course.

20. Someone asks you if you want a sandwich but what you hear is ‘sand wedge?’

21. Your idea of ‘smart/casual’ is your club jumper and a pair of chinos.

22. Getting out of bed at 7am to go to work is a chore… but getting up at 6am to play golf is a piece of cake.

23. This is the ring tone on your phone.

24. You’ve said ‘Seve’ plus your surname out loud, just to see if it might work for your first-born son.

25. The first thing you do when it snows is try to find your stash of these…

26. You know who this guy is…

Any other signs you’re a golf addict?

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