1. Plan to play after a big night out
Your friend sends you a text on Wednesday afternoon to ask if you’ll be okay to make a 7.30am tee time for the medal on Saturday.
You know that you’ve got a big night out on Friday and, deep down, expect that you’ll be in no fit state to play golf that early the next day.
Even so, you tell your mate to count you in. Then, when Saturday comes, you wake at 10am to seven missed calls, two voicemails, three texts, and a very angry pal.
2. Putt wearing a glove
Anywhere but the green - that’s a good rule of thumb for anyone unsure on glove-wearing etiquette. Your glove is there to help stabilise your hand movement on full shots.
Putting, by contrast, depends largely on feel and touch, both of which go out the window when you put something (i.e. a glove) between your hands and the grip of your putter.
Of course, if you want to keep missing tiddlers, then carry on as you were.
Sometimes a medal round just doesn’t work out quite the way you’d planned.
Whether it’s three-off-the-tee on the first, the four swipes you need to get out of a bunker, or three-putting from inside ten feet, anything can and will happen to take the gloss off your performance.
But that doesn’t mean you don’t bother putting your card in. Suck it up, swallow your pride, and take your medicine.
4. Throw clubs
There are few things worse than misconnecting with a golf shot. Whether it’s a shank or a sclaff, anything other than the perfect strike feels rubbish.
It doesn’t mean you should go flinging clubs, though. Nobody wants to play in the company of that guy.
What’s more, it’ll likely end up costing you a wad of cash if - as is likely - you end up snapping the shaft.
So, you won’t just be a rubbish golfer. You’ll be a rubbish golfer who’s out of pocket.
5. Celebrate prematurely
Everyone’s done it: you watch excitedly as the ball rolls on a seemingly perfect line towards the hole and so you start to strut after it in the expectation that it will soon be below ground.
You think to yourself how cool you’re going to look. Then the unthinkable happens: the ball stays up.
It maybe even rolls five or six feet past. Your cocky stride is halted in its tracks, your playing partners all laugh, and you feel like a right numptie.
Which one of these cardinal sins have you committed?
How many of these have you broken in the past? All five possibly? Let us know in the 'Comments' section below.