Won’t somebody please think of the fans! PGA Tour’s slow play saga another slap in the face

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve said: “Well, that’s why I don’t get paid millions to make these decisions.” 

It’s quickly becoming more and more apparent that the people who do get paid millions to make these decisions should, indeed, not be getting paid millions to make these decisions.  

It feels like whatever the sport and whatever the situation, it’s the fans that get dumped on. 

Football is notorious for this.  

Just this weekend we had the ludicrous scenario where, because FA Cup replays have been scrapped from this season at the behest of the so-called “Big 6”, who said they had too many games and their players are tired, a whole bunch of non-league teams that rely on gate receipts to survive were denied extra matches against higher opposition. (This is the same “Big 6”, by the way, who are not even in the competition yet, and pile their overpaid stars onto planes for month-long tours of the Far East and Australia within minutes of the season ending.)  

It is also looking like a high-profile LaLiga match will be played in the United States from next season. The Premier League will no doubt follow. 

Then we have to sit through Sky Sports pundits trying to work out why the atmosphere at the top stadiums is notably worse than it was all those years ago when working class people could actually afford to go to games.

And don’t get me started on VAR.  

It’s not much better in golf, if we’re honest.  

We’ve had huge scandals in recent weeks involving ticket prices – notably at the Ryder Cup – while the shot-to-advert ratio is an ongoing disgruntlement for the sport’s armchair fans. 

Sometimes – just sometimes – you can find a bit of logic behind a decision, however much you might disagree with it.  

This, though, will need someone from PGA Tour HQ to sit me down and explain it to me like I’m eight. And then explain it to me like I’m five.  

Yes, it’s our old friend slow play. A scourge of every professional golf tour and at grassroots level, too.  

And guess what they’ve decided to do to discourage it on the PGA Tour? That’s right, they’re reducing fines dished out for players falling behind time.  

I mean, it’s obvious when you think about it, isn’t it? Something that has been a cancer on the sport for decades will carry a far more lenient punishment – if it wasn’t lenient enough already.

Make it make sense.  

The powers that be have slashed the fine for ‘Excessive Shot Times’ $10,000 to $5,000, while the biggest cut is from $50,000 to $10,000 for ‘Bad Times’ – a name which was almost certainly decided on one minute before lunch.  

It is to fall in line with those of the DP World Tour and major championships, they say – trying to convince themselves as much as anyone else, .  

The actual answer, of course, is player power. Since LIV became a part of our lives, the PGA Tour’s biggest names have had far too much input on these sorts of matters. Why? Because Jay Monahan and friends are terrified that any minor blip could result in Rory McIlroy calling Greg Norman and asking how quickly he can get 500 million big ones wired into his bank account.

The PGA Tour has a tough enough job on its hands to reintegrate those fans who have become disenchanted with the professional game. So the quicker we get back to letting the businessmen make the business decisions and the players playing, the better. And if they don’t like it, there are plenty of other places they can ply their trade. 

First on the agenda for when the PGA Tour is run by people who have everyone’s interest at heart? Penalty shots for slow play. Obviously.  

The difference between finishing, say, third in and two shots back in a tie for sixth could mean zeros knocked off the pay cheque. It certainly affects world ranking points, and eligibility to majors, and – in the case of the PGA Tour – signature events. And that’s before you get to the impact it could have on Ryder, Solheim and Presidents Cup teams. That will get them moving.

Maybe I should be getting paid millions to make these decisions.  

If you’re reading, Jay, I’ll do it for half your salary. 

Just for fun 

$10,000 is 0.01% of Scottie Scheffler’s earnings in 2024.  

I mean, he’ll have to speak to his bank manager to try and move some money around, but I’m sure he’ll be able to sort it. 

Pop quiz 

When was the last time the PGA Tour dished out a slow play penalty during one of its tournaments? 

I’ll tell you later. 

Merger dirge 

The deal between the PGA Tour and PIF has – if it hadn’t already – tipped us all over the edge by now.  

It’s beyond boring. We’re all utterly drained by men’s professional golf, which now serves only to make the rich richer.  

Shall we all agree to just stop asking questions and talking about it until there is some actual news?

Top Trump

It’s election season over the water and in a world where I’m increasingly unsurprised by just about anything, I still cannot fathom how anyone could consider putting an X next to Donald Trump’s name in the ballot box.

You could take any ten-second clip from any public speech he has made in the last 40 years and find a number of reasons to not put this man in charge of the nuclear codes.

Still, he says he’ll get the PGA Tour-PIF deal wrapped up “in 15 minutes”.

But, Donny, these are golfers. You’re trying to convince people who are not already voting for you…

Pay to play

Another ongoing row is players getting paid to compete in team events.

According to Golfweek, the PGA Tour handed each player $250,000 and told them they could do with it as they please. Previously, it was paid directly to a charity of their choice, but now it’s up to each individual. 

If the players want to trouser what is ultimately pocket change to them but life-changing sums to others, so be it.

They probably won’t, though. Will they? 

And finally… 

I finish, as always, with a couple of shout-outs for the excellent work carried out by my incredibly talented colleagues.  

It’s not all doom and gloom in the grassroots game. Some clubs are thriving – largely thanks to sound management. One of those is Murrayshall, near Perth (Scotland, not Australia), is one them, as John Turnbull found out. 

Ben Parsons chatted to Laurie Canter, the DP World Tour winner and ex-LIV golfer who is now on the verge of earning a PGA Tour card, and it’s every bit as fascinating as you might think. 

And last week marked the 25th anniversary since the tragic death of the much-loved Payne Stewart, and Michael McEwan’s account of that day is well worth a few minutes of your day. 

In the meantime, you can catch Michael and me with Bryce on the latest episode of The bunkered Podcast, where I managed to finally get one of the more ridiculous stories from my childhood off my chest. 

Oh, the answer to the pop quiz? 

The last time a slow play penalty was dished out on the PGA Tour was for the team of Brian Campbell and Miguel Angel Carballo at the 2017 Zurich Classic.

There have been a couple in the majors – notably then 14-year-old Guan Tianlang at the 2013 Masters – but for an individual PGA Tour event you have to go all the way back to 1995. The culprit? Glen Day. (Nickname: All.)

Maybe this whole slow play argument is entirely pointless after all…

Alex Perry is the Associate Editor of bunkered. A journalist for more than 20 years, he has been a golf industry stalwart for the majority of his career and, in a five-year spell at ESPN, covered every sporting event you can think of. He completed his own Grand Slam at the 2023 Masters, having fallen in love with the sport at his hometown club of Okehampton and on the links of nearby Bude & North Cornwall.

Associate Editor