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Watching the WGC-Accenture Match Play Championship on Sky Sports, and keeping a close eye on what was being said about it on various websites, including Twitter, it was hard not to become a tad irritated.

Irritated, that is, by the corny commentary and plethora of mistakes and/or bad habits in the analysis.

Still irked this morning (the fact it’s Monday no doubt isn’t helping my disposition), I’ve decided to compile a ‘cheat sheet’ of the things that most got my goat. This way, in the event that we should ever watch golf together, you won’t fall foul of them – and me.

No more shortening players’ names

G-Mac, as in Graeme McDowell, is fine. It’s reasonably funny and the Northern Irishman himself likes it. He may, in fact, have come up with it. But we don’t need any more. Attempts to rename Rory McIlroy as ‘R-Mac’ seemed to falter pretty quickly but that hasn’t deterred anyone. Victor Dubuisson’s run to the final of the WGC-Accenture Match Play Championship saw some American writers attempt to give him the cheesy (some might say ‘over-familiar’) nickname ‘V-Dubs’ but, please, let’s not let this happen. It’s not big, it’s not clever, and it’s so 2010.

Learn what a double-eagle is

An albatross is not a double-eagle. An albatross is what you score if you are three-under-par on any hole. An eagle is two-under. By rights, therefore, a double-eagle is actually four-under. But that’s really a condor (yes, there’s a name for four-under on any given hole). So, next time someone holes their second shot on a par-5, let’s just call it an albatross, right? Because that’s what it is.

Take it easy with the Ryder Cup references

During the final of the WGC-Accenture Match Play Championship on Sunday, Sky Sports commentator Rob Lee remarked that ‘you just know every European player will be wanting him as a foursomes partner at Gleneagles’. Really? You just know that, do you? Nonsense. For some reason, in each Ryder Cup year, every achievement by every European golfer needs to be analysed in a Ryder Cup context. But, right now, the match is till seven months and a lot of golf away. Let’s not pretend it’s happening next week and that the team is already picked.

Calling Victor Dubuisson’s first stunning ‘up-and-down’ in extra holes last night a ‘miracle’ was a bit over the top.

Learn what ‘literally’ means

The curse of the modern day commentator, the word ‘literally’ has, quite literally, lost its value. “That is literally frightening”, “He’s literally on fire right now”, “That’s literally criminal to miss from there”, etc. Literally is not a meaningless word that exists for emphasis’ sake. It has a meaning. Look it up, then use it appropriately.

Cool it with the FedExCup updates

Why does no-one need to know how many points Jason Day got for winning in Arizona? Two reasons. One, nobody outwith the PGA Tour knows how the FedExCup works. Two, nobody cares.

Easy with the breathless hyperbole

This is going to sound like I’m picking on Rob Lee but I’m really not. I actually think he’s pretty good. But he, like so many sitting behind a microphone, has a bad habit of resorting to silly exaggerations when describing the action unfolding before him. Calling Victor Dubuisson’s first stunning ‘up-and-down’ in extra holes last night a ‘miracle’ was a bit over the top. Suggesting that he should be ‘beatified’ and made a saint after the next was even sillier. Tongue in cheek, of course, but silly. Notice how Ewen Murray doesn’t resort to that. That might be because he knows more about the game, the players, the courses, and even their designers, and, as such, has more to tell you.

No borrowing terms from other sports

Terms such as ‘slam dunk’, ‘home run’, and all that. It’s golf: not basketball, not baseball, not anything else. And goodness knows it has plenty of daft terms of its own.

Calling players ‘dude’ and ‘a stud’

Just… no.

Are these golf commentators’ worst habits?

Do you agree with Michael McEwan about these bad habits? Are there others that he’s missed? Leave your thoughts in our ‘Comments’ section below.

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Michael McEwan is the Deputy Editor of bunkered and has been part of the team since 2004. In that time, he has interviewed almost every major figure within the sport, from Jack Nicklaus, to Rory McIlroy, to Donald Trump. The host of the multi award-winning bunkered Podcast and a member of Balfron Golfing Society, Michael is the author of three books and is the 2023 PPA Scotland 'Writer of the Year' and 'Columnist of the Year'. Dislikes white belts, yellow balls and iron headcovers. Likes being drawn out of the media ballot to play Augusta National.

Deputy Editor

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