I'm a grumpy old man.
At least that's how I feel when I watch American golf on TV these days.
As a relatively young 35-year-old, I should probably (or at least) have a bit of buzz, a bit of excitement in my approach to life. I'm the type of guy who should be accusing others of being dull and monotonous.
But thanks to an unfortunate increase in the number of annoying shouts at US golf events, I find myself shaking my head at the TV like a grumpy old man.
Except, I have damn good reason to. For too long now, these boorish American fans have spoiled golf events for 'normal' fans around the world. It's not a problem over here in Europe. It doesn't happen. We're above that kind of 'behaviour'.
They are morons (now I sound like my dad). But they are. Only an idiot would shout "mashed potato!" after someone's hit a tee shot, followed by "yabadabado!"
I've just returned from a boys golf weekend - 24 guys in attendance - and not one single shout. Do you know why? Because it would just be a bit daft to shout anything. But you'd think with guys who have been drinking all weekend, acting daft away from their normal daily lives... one of them might shout something - just for a laugh - after a tee shot. Nope. Turns out we're not morons.
And that's the problem. It's not even drink-related. They do it for various reasons, but it mainly boils down to simply being an idiot. It's become custom to shout something that relates to the tour player. It's their way of saying "we know who you are" and we're supporting you. Clapping is no longer a show of support, according to these clowns.
We now know that tour players have, in recent months, walked up to supporters and told them to knock it off. It's beyond the joke now.
You may have heard already, but our publication, bunkered, has launched a petition to get as many signatures from people who feel the same way. Once we're done, we're going to send it to Tim Finchem, the commissioner of the PGA Tour. We're not demanding action. All we want is for them to at least discuss the problem and talk about a solution.
Do that, and I can stop being a grumpy old man and get back to enjoying watching US golf without sound like a grouch.